And we’ll make our relationship work, or we won’t. And we will love each other forever, or we won’t. Not even remotely, so if Damon is the answer to getting your humanity back and not me, fine. But this quarter of a man I’m staring at isn’t you. But the one very big positive is that life doesn’t have to stop after you die. You know what I did after I became a vampire? I graduated.Or spend the rest of eternity trying to figure out what happened to the best part of you. Somewhere deep down in that part of you where Elena is still buried. The fact that you’re telling me this proves you care.Being here and feeling what you’re feeling proves that a love that deep and real can win over anything. Damon, I gave you that necklace, because it is as powerful and as magical as the love that you and Elena have for each other.Think about what you want at the end of it all. Whatever it is she wants you to do and get your life back. Nothing I could do as a vampire will be better than being with you as a human.The fact there are endless ways humans will tempt death for their own amusement never ceases to amaze me.I would brave the oceans and sail past the sirens to find my way back to you. When it comes to you, love, I would never stop fighting.I’m sorry I wasn’t better at it until now. Don’t walk away from your list because you don’t think you’re worth it. You’re right at the top, alongside a great girl I hope to marry one day. But I don’t need some spirit journey with a bunch of strangers to convince me that my redemption is within reach. I don’t think my slate will ever be clean. In my wretched, miserable life, I have inflicted a fantastic amount of pain.And I hope it’s the happiest because you, Bonnie Bennett, are an amazing woman, a mediocre crossword puzzle player and my best friend. So I’m leaving because I’d rather let you down once then let you down for the rest of your life. And I’m absolutely terrified of failing you both. You’re going to make me face a future without Elena and you’re going to help make me the best man I can possibly be, the same way she did. I should be saying this to your face, not writing this letter, but I know if I do, you’ll talk me out of running away from all my problems. And you want to know why? Because you’re my brother and I love you and there’s nothing you could do to ever change that. I absolve you of all the death and destruction I’ve caused as a result. I officially forgive you… I forgive you for making me what I am. Why are you here, Stefan? Why are you always there to straighten me out when I go off the rails? You’re here because you blame yourself for turning me in the first place.But tonight, one lucky little elf is going to get an all-expenses paid, one way trip, straight to hell. Now, unfortunately, I’m only going to be able to give it to the most despicably evil person in the room, and that’s going to be a tough decision. I’m sure you’re all asking yourselves why I barged in tonight.The Salvatore brothers back on the road again.Whatever desire you have to save me, I kind of need that right now.Her great beyond is a decidedly happier one than mine. My path and Elena’s path, they’re not the same. Every drop of blood I ever spilled, every body I’ve ever drained, every bad decision I’ve ever made sealed my fate.My life has been over for a century and a half. A good human skill is knowing when to shut up.I always give it up, always do the right thing for everyone else. things he’s going to have to spend the rest of his life atoning for, and I know that’s scary, but I believe he can do it. But when I see everything that you have – your home, your boyfriend, your kids, your life – it makes me feel so alone that I want to die. I had a plan to live the kind of life that you and Stefan are living right now. I had a plan to grow old with Enzo and come home to him every night.

I don’t know how much my heart has left, you know? And when we end up back at zero, my heart crushes in on itself a little bit more.

Stefan, every time we do this I let myself hope a little.

Hope hurts, and I don’t want to hurt anymore.

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